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.. yet nobody else bats an eye, like I'm the only one aware of it."Ed's choking back the tears now, not like he's ashamed or embarrassed. He just can't talk and cry at the same time. His voice is squeaky but still deep and gravel-like -- as though he's faking a woman's pitch. 'Help me,' he shrieks. 'Help me, Forbes! My parents don't remember me and I'm starting to forget my own life now! Help me... tell me who I am!'"I lost it at this point, Will. I raised my voice. No, strike that. I yelled. Christ, I fucking ripped into him with a rage. 'What the hell is this?' I screamed. 'You're Colonel Ed Harrington. Start acting like it! You're not this sissy, fag, she-male thing. Snap out of it, Ed! You're US Air Force. Fucking straighten up!'"I never should've said that. He was my friend, my superior... and he fell apart into tears, collapsing on the barroom floor. Nobody notices, still. But I didn't want to risk making a scene. I stand there, rock solid for maybe 30 seconds. Then I reach out. .. no, it's ridiculous." BRIAN..." I feel like I'm going through puberty..." Hmmm. What do you mean?" I have all these conflicting feelings... I'm a guy. But, I likeJessica. I like dresses and heels and makeup and lingerie... Ohgod..." I said, burying my face in my hands."What? What is it?" I am going through puberty. This time, I'm a thirteen year old girl."She smiled. "Why do you say that?" Listen to me, Julia. I was a boy. Or maybe a tomboy. Now I want tobe pretty, so the boys will like me. What do you call that? Maybeit's not puberty. Maybe it's a nervous breakdown." That's a little extreme. I think this is a good thing." How?" I mean that you're finally trying to figure out your way. You'redealing with all of these conflicting feelings..." What have I been doing here the past four years then?" No, clearly, you've been dealing with things. Your father, yourfamily, your sexuality..." But?" I think you're exploring another part of yourself. Your feminineside, as it were."I laughed..
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